Hindsight (Fade into you)

In hindsight, I feel silly. 

Kind of like the morning after.  Fumbling for my car keys.  Wishing there was a name tag. 

I had a fast car.  And I kept on driving.  Barefoot.  Impulsively written bare naked handwritten note sealed in an envelope on the passenger seat. 

Oblivious to my surroundings.  Red sirens, black night, yellow moon. 

Fade into you.
I think it's strange you never knew.

It was twenty years ago and Darling, that should have been me. 

At some point, I became afraid to answer the phone. 

Kind of like those moments before a natural disaster when the animals panic.  Sensing the unthinkable. 

She made me nervous.  Well, they all did.  They all do.
So much so, I wrote down everything to talk about before I called.

A talking points list so to speak.

I was crazy for her.  Head over heels.
I still am now.  She just has a different name.  A different face. 

I reached my destination.  Tears stained my cheeks.  It was probably a good thing she didn't see me. 

With mere hours to go before she was gone for good, I got the last word in.

Stay.

I imagined her face as she read my letter. A devilish grin with an agreeable nod of her head followed by a cinematic kiss in the rain. 

But I knew better.

A month later, finally settled, she wrote me back.

Fade into you
I think it's strange you never knew.

Twenty years later, I feel silly.

Kind of like the morning after.