Last week, I watched Vacation for probably the 100th time in my life and it dawned on me just how stupid the movie is. Now, the movie itself is a classic and there are a lot of funny moments BUT the ending is just ridiculous. Who drives cross country to a theme park without knowing if their destination will be closed for maintenance? I am certain there isn't a family alive that has driven across the country to Disneyland without making sure they would be open when they arrive.
But I thought about it and maybe my initial (after seeing the movie 100 times) reaction was a little harsh. If the internet existed in the early 80's, I suppose Clark probably would have gone online to Wally World's website to make sure they would be open.
We've become spoiled awfully quickly considering today's conveniences didn't exist back in the 80s or even twenty years ago. Personally, I am thankful that the internet wasn't around when I was a kid or in high school.
Movies, TV shouws, really anything pop culture related would have been significantly different if the internet existed in the 80s. War Games would have made more sense to me. Matthew Broderick hacking NORAD's computers from his Commodore 64 seemed implausible at the time. Now, we all know what hackers are.
In the Breakfast Club, those kids could have been texting or playing Candy Crush on their phones during detention instead of getting stoned and causing trouble. Also, I suppose, as a kid that wasn't aware of how pot works, I could have gone online to learn that pot does not make people dance or give them that much energy. I would have learned quickly how illogical that dancing scene really was.
In Sixteen Candles, Farmer Ted simply could have sold Samantha's panties on Ebay instead of charging kids $1 in the bathroom just to look at them. Hell, those kids who spent a $1 to LOOK AT panties, could have simply gone online to see panties for free or if so inclined, they could have just gone straight to porn to see what lies underneath panties.
Movies back then captured our imagination. We were being exposed to things we believed were impossibilities or even illogical. They made us more curious about life and the future. Simple things like paying to see panties was remarkable evidence of our innocense. Today, with one click of a mouse, kids can see sex for free. Because of the internet, curiosity ceases to exist quickly. The reality of war or violence once created a shocking world view whereas today, dead bodies seem like characters in a video game. The internet has densensitized us to everything from sex to death. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Growing up, heroes were men like John Wayne or Clint Eastwood. We considered them men of bravery. There was a time when mothers were angry at Rambo and considered that character to be detrimental to children. Then along came the internet. Suddenly, movies shifted into effeminancy where heroes are now glittery vampires or little wizards in glasses. I'm not sure the internet is to blame for Twilight or Harry Potter but certainly, the acceptance and fandom of such characters has been greatly enhanced by it. And I don't necessarily believe anything is wrong with that but it does point to a societal shift in what makes a hero.
When I was 12 years old, my idea of a bully came in the form of Johnny Lawrence from the Cobra Kai dojo in the Karate Kid. Who wasn't rooting for Daniel to finally defeat him? Now, the internet has turned a lot of us former Karate Kid supporters into virtual versions of Johnny Lawrence. Bravery is now defined by our keyboards instead of with our fists. I suppose if the internet was around in the 80s, Daniel could have gone online and enacted his revenge on those bullies and averted those months of painting fences and waxing cars in order to learn karate.
I enjoyed growing up with curious and innocent eyes. I liked the idea that learning involved books and real encylopedias. I loved going to movies and not being so analytical where I start wondering why Clark Griswold was stupid enough to drive from Chicago to California in a rusty old station wagon without even looking online to make sure his destination will be open.
Don't get me wrong. The internet is fantastic and has changed the world more for the better than the alternative. I am just glad my first 30 years on earth didn't include it.
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