Stop

I draw strength from you,  Inspiration, too.  Let's talk about how we once were instead of what became of you.  I'll count backwards starting at thirty two.

Thirty one, face down like a martyr with a thorny crown.  What if I had told you that everything always gets better even when it gets worse?  Look around, every damn thing hurts. Thirty, my angels versus your demons.  Twenty nine, we stop.  Things should not look better in reverse.


I draw hope from you.  Love and faith, too.  Let's talk about how we once were instead of what we are now.  I said, I loved you before I knew you.  You questioned how.  What if I had told you then that a day would come where you'd be slightly disengaged?  That day is now. 

Your face, you hide it well.  Behind some well manicured veil.  Hey, I never cared about those types of things.  Beauty is immeasurable like forgiveness.  I confess as I dangle on unattached strings.  You've got your busy life, I've got my mood swings.  I sway in the nothingness between us.  Stop, notice me before I drop.  Never mind, I'll just wander in the desert of once was.


I draw anger from you.  Hate, too.   Everyone drowns on a sinking ship.  But hey, it's the price we pay for a twenty year trip.  But hey, those battle scars are reminders of certain things; things I will never talk about.  Stop, I remind myself, with all this rage and doubt.  You dug your own grave.  I was merely a passerby.  And I float in the nothingness of how it once was.  And I go to the place of I told you so but you can't hear me.  I'm angry and I'm weary.  I draw strength from the negativity.  And I stop at the door of peace but I never knock.

Your walk was years ahead of your own feet.  Look at them; inconsolable and incomplete.  You did that.  We start out as friends and stop at sycophant.  And I contemplate what we really had.

I draw hope from your indifference.  It's a defense mechanism, I suppose.  Deluded dreams and polluted streams suck the marrow out of the nothingness in me.  It's apropos that we've become typical and ordinary.  Let's stop and return to the place we used to be.
or just stop and notice me.