Menace 2 Sobriety

This menacing feeling that you hate me
It's been gnawing away at me lately
Been trying so long to escape me
now that youre there, did you get where you wanted to go safely?
And I guess deep down inside, I knew we were crazy
I had hoped on all levels, we would end humanely
Stuck in my head is what could have been so strangely
Now that I'm here, it's clear why you stopped communicating
And I guess over time, the resentment kept accumulating
I'm entrenched in a moment of deliberating
Yet, I can't shake this menacing feeling you're celebrating
I never became complacent or lazy
Just wanted reassurance I wasn't being hasty
Your silence was louder than bombs but less ambiguous
Cover my face with these sweaty palms as I consider the possibility you hate me

This menacing feeling that you'll never miss me
It's feasting on me as I try to keep busy
Been trying so long to get you to notice me
that I've been chasing my tail  and now I am dizzy
This menacing feeling resurfaces of your apathy
As the ice queen smiles so callously
It's gnawing away at me mercilessly
and I quietly come to grips you'll never miss me

This menacing feeling there is nobody
For me is deafening

This menacing feeling is overwhelmingly

unsettling.

Best Laid Plans

The best laid plans of mice and men. 
Where I'm going is where I've been. 
Take my time to deliberate.  We're belligerent, once again.
Somewhere between bitterness and sadness
lies the void of emptiness and its vastness. 

Took my time waiting for a sign.  Anything from you.  Now, we stand at an impasse. 
Rest in peace, you and I. 
Our epitaph. 

It would have been nice to be seen as an equal. 
The first time is always better than the sequel. 
Best laid plans, the pipe dreams of people.
It would have been nice to be of some importance. 
The maladies, migraines and misfortunes.
Proudly, they could have been my crown of thorns. 
Best laid plans often need perfect storms.

Someone new is still not you. 
Something beautiful should not grow stale. 
If the destination is futile, we should not set sail.
All parts being equal.  The first voyage is always better than the sequel.
Best laid plans are for drowning people.

A spoonful of hope and a dash of empathy.  Out of kindness.  Not necessity.
Love is simple.  Not a recipe.
One man's envy is another man's cancer.
Neither come with a remedy.

And here I go, once again.
Missing you and what could have been.
Best laid plans of mice and men.