The Casino Experience

So, for the last two nights, due to the exterminator fumigating my home, I stayed at a local indian casino hotel until the chemicals dissipated.   

Because of my problem in the past with gambling, I do not gamble now (excluding rare trips to vegas but that doesn't count).  If possible, I stay away from casinos.  In this case, I considered this casino hotel stay to be a much deserved mini vacation while resisting the temptation to just spend "a few dollars gambling". As I have learned, when I tell myself I'll only spend a little bit of money, I always end up at the ATM over and over again.   

So, long story short... I did not gamble.  I did, however, walk around the casino floor and observe people who are how I used to be and other types of people.  I suppose it's like being the only sober guy at a party and witnessing the behaviors of drunk people.

From first glance, I realized that casinos are made up of the same people you see at Walmart:   Older people, people too large to fit into the tiny stool in front of their slot machine, people who obviously live paycheck to paycheck and probably shouldn't be there and of course, people with addictive personalities such as myself.

From this "sober's" guy point of view, these are some of my observations:

1.  The "I'm way too poor to be at a casino" lady:   As I was walking around, I heard a loud screech.  It was a woman screaming with joy.   My inclination was to be jealous because I can recall the adrenaline rushes I used to get when I hit jackpots.

So, I locate the scream and find this lady.  She is frantically searching her purse for her iphone.  She finds it and immediately begins taking selfies next to her "big win".  I am sure she is somewhere on Facebook right now and one of those pictures is now her profile one.  People were congratulating her.  

Unfortunately, my phone was charging up in the room so I was unable to take a picture of this overly jubilant woman and her "big win".  Her machine had all matching symbols.  I leaned in; pretending to be happy for her and asked, "how much did you win?".   She replied, "$25".   She was playing some penny slot machine. 

My only thought as I walked away from this waste of time was Look, if winning $25 makes you act worse than one of those excited people on the Price is Right when Bob Barker calls their name, you are too poor to be at a casino.

2.  Contrastly, later that night, I observed the "I'm way too rich to be at a casino" guy. 

As I walked around the casino floor, I looked for slot machines with flashing lights or sirens.  That usually indicates a jackpot assuming you don't hear the "I'm too poor to be at a casino" lady screaming over $20.

I noticed a particular machine flashing in the corner but there was no screaming and there was no crowd gathered around the middle aged guy in a suit playing.  I looked at his machine and he won $12,000 on a dollar machine.  I congratulated him and mentioned he didn't seem too excited.  His response was something about only being $5000 ahead from where he was when he walked in the door.  Once again, I walked away thinking Look, if you don't get excited over winning $12,000 or if you have enough money to lose $7000 before winning, you shouldn't be at an indian casino.  Go to vegas.  Buy a yacht.  Spend it elsewhere. 

I'm not a very enthusisastic person but when I won $10K in 1999 on a slot machine, even I smiled.  Hell, I even high fived a stranger and I hate high fives. 

I saw a few larger people spending more time trying to balance themselves on their tiny stools than actually playing.  Half the people were nervously smoking which makes sense along with the large people since addictions tend to come in threes or that's what I was told back in my gambling days.   I haven't figured out my other 2 addictions yet excluding writing stupid shit like this, facebooking, being annoyed at the slightest things and a few other things I won't mention.

Speaking of me, I will mention some of the behaviors I had back in my compulsive gambling days:

1.  Spend a weekend in a chair guy.  I sat at the same slot machine for almost 72 hours one weekend.  I won, lost, won jackpot, lost it all and kept on playing.  I didn't want to leave.  I spent the whole time asking myself what my goal was since I hit everything possible on that machine.

2.  The Let me rationalize this with bad math guy:   One time in vegas, I put $10 in a nickel machine.  Two hours later, I cashed out at $1000.  Ten minutes after that, I lost it all on roulette.  I spent all weekend telling myself, "I only lost $10".  NO, I LOST $1000.  IF AT ONE POINT, YOU HAVE $1000 IN YOUR HAND AND 10 MINUTES LATER, YOU DONT; IT MEANS YOU LOST $1000. 

I realize that I was habitually the Bad Math Guy until the very last time I went gambling.

Dec. 24th, 2010:  I won $3000 twice (that's $6000) on the same machine.  I only spent $200.  I left with nothing.  I was sick to my stomach as I had been many times before when I walked away with nothing after having a lot.   As I was driving home, I tried to convince myself that I only lost $200 and it was worth the fun.  Reality sunk in that I indeed lost $6000 and that was when I decided to quit forever (excluding Vegas because that doesn't count).

Lastly, there is one other type of person I have encountered at casinos and its probably the funniest moment ever.

1.  The NRA guy.

Years ago, I was sitting at some machine and I heard a loud crashing sound.  I look over my shoulder and some old guy is out cold on the floor.  He had a heart attack, crashed out of his stool, his bucket of quarters spilled everywhere.  The medics, who are always on scene at casinos because of all the old people, rushed to his assistance.  They pounded his chest, gave him oxygen and had the stretcher out. 

THEN A MIRACLE HAPPENED!   The old guy jumped to his seat and started playing his slot machine again.  The medics kept saying, "Sir, we need to get you to the hospital.  We think you had a heart attack".  The old man yells, "THIS IS MY MACHINE.  I WANT TO FUCKING PLAY.  GET AWAY FROM ME".  And I guess, by law, the medics cant force anyone to go to the hospital so they left.  He played for 2 more hours before leaving angrily.

He's the NRA guy because I kept waiting for him to tell the medics, "you'll have to pry this slot machine from my cold dead hands".

Anyway, the last 2 nights were relaxing yet slightly boring.  Ironically, I played a facebook slot machine game in my room for a little while until the hotel's wi-fi started to act up.

At least, I didn't lose any money or win and then lose it all or worse yet, scream because I won $25.