Prologue

 

felt like a villain, a serpent.  scapegoating, neurodivergent.  i fucked up.
one in 8 billion, dime a dozen.  dopamine drip, cruelty's cousin

no one ever tells me to shut up.

I meant every word I said.
I mean every word I say.

You don't see me how I see me.
Not everyone's cup of tea.
the devil is in the details
not just the nicotine and coffee
commonality
what's different this time
dot the i's, cross the t's
endorphins

felt like i was reaching, a pipe dream
it just can't get better than this
black and white, failed to see the color scheme
You.
Depersonalized, Overanalyzed
All in the same breath
Villainous at best
Disingenous, at worst
All in the same breath

Indifferent or neurotic
Intimate or platonic
Meticulous or chaotic
Strategic or myopic

I meant every word I said
I mean every word I say
I just don't speak in gray

Second coming, sloppy seconds
words meant to disarm became weapons

I meant every word I said
I mean every word I say.