Psychopath

Psychopath taking a bubble bath.  Crying at old movies.  Psychopath and the questions asked.  Where are the apologies.


Gaslight the gaslighter.

Blink too fast, love becomes extortion.  Take my heart in for an abortion.

Firestarter can't be the firefighter.

Psychopath wears a name tag.  Easy label for those you don't understand.  Throw some stones, you'll never miss underhand.   Break a heart.  Cure writer's block.  Doesn't seem like a fair trade.  Doublespeak is double talk.  Killing a spider with a hand grenade.

And there's no going back.
And there's no going back.

So, I quit.  I give up.

And there's no going back.

Tell him everything he does wrong.  Never mention anything he does right.

Gaslighter with its gaslight. 

Let the anti-hero be the martyr
The firefighter can never be the firestarter.

And there's no going back.

First Time

Over my shoulder to the right.  Take a turn, no signal light.   Baby's got a baby crying in the back seat.  For the first time, I feel like a neophyte. 

Thought you should know, I was feeling like a quill in a bottle of invisible ink.  A tonic for strange times; a cocktail for past crimes.  All the useless thoughts I think.   And I couldn't love you any better or worse.  I couldn't be more numb as when this hurts.  Thought you should know.

Over my shoulder to the left.  All the discarded moments I say I never kept.  Baby's got a baby of an idea.  Think bigger, dream bigger, I pled.  And she doesn't know what goes on inside this head. 

Thought you should know, I was feeling like an empty page in a photo album.   And I could be replaced with anyone.  That's the baby of the man you chose.  And this is me trying to juxtapose.  For the first time.

Over the hill is better days.  A double entendre, an ironic phrase.  Life isn't made for everyone.
Under the moon, hangs our yesterdays.  Under the moon, hangs our dirty laundry.  Thought you should know, it's okay and always. 

And thought you should know I'll be your parachute.  Your medicine and chicken soup.  All the useless things I sometimes think.   Subtraction by distraction until they sink.  Thought you should know that long winded is me at succinct.  For the first time.

Over the twelve straight ahead, someone may steal our song.  The moments you don't stay calm.  It's over the six when the melody becomes a Psalm.  So, wait.  Baby's got a baby in bloom.  Neither here nor there, nor early nor late.

And everything will be alright.
Baby's got the love of a neophyte.

For the first time.

I lost a Friend

I lost a friend.
I'll be alright without her.  I'll just write about her.  It doesn't feel right without her. 


Sharing secrets with each other since we were kids.  Sleeping soundly with my phone firmly clutched in my fist.   Soft memories of breaking necks. Off the trajectory of smoking cigarettes after sex, carving valleys so lightly into our wrists.


And I believed I was way too self-aware to just disappear.  

I lost a friend.  And then, another.


He's in a room just like mine.  Stuck in the same paradigm.  I am not okay.  Thanks for asking.  Introverts are always multi-tasking.   Sharing laughs over tragedies since we were kids.  Sleeping soundly with my phone firmly clutched in my fist.  Pile of rocks and some bloody socks.  Drinking whatever they put in front of us to remove the pain.  Carving letters in cursive into our skin.  


And I believed I was way too self-aware to become you.

I lost a friend.  And then, another.  Then, another.


Every memory should include those we never made.  As sweet as kisses on the forehead of years we called lemonade.  Sharing crayons to draw the perfect family since we were kids.  Stabbing dolls to show the world where the hurt really lives.  Gently tip toeing in the kitchen so not to wake up God.  Listening intently, for the sake of dialogue.

And I believed I was way too self-aware to disappear.

I lost a friend.
And I'm not okay.
Thanks for asking.