Stereotyping Future Government Leaders

So, I've been doing a lot of thinking regarding politics:  Why we are in this mess and who is to blame for this mess.

In one corner, we have liberals blaming conservatives claiming their support of rich people, the job creators, is to blame.  In the other corner, we have conservatives blaming liberals claiming their bleeding heart policies have enlarged our government to such an enormous size that it ends up stifling private sector growth.

Now, personally, I have no doubts that the larger the government gets, the less effective it becomes.  I also know that the more you tax people, the less money we have in our pockets.  But I am also aware that the solutions aren't so black and white.

So, I was thinking... who would be best to run this country?  Men?  Women?  Blacks?  Gays?  Midgets?  Jews?  Those people here on the internet who believe they have the answers for everything?  Which group or demographic could run an effective government?

Obviously, the white male seems to be the only constant we've had in government and obviously, that isn't working.  We tried a black man in the white house and obviously, that isn't working either.  Then again, this black man is half-white so maybe only half of him is not working well.

Men:  What we do know about men is that they like toys and like to fight.  This explains why most of our GDP goes to the military; shiny new toys used to beat someone else up.  Men are solely responsible for every war we have engaged in.  Men are also guided by their egos so we know that this is the gender more likely to be corrupt when given power.

White Men:  See above.  One difference is that white men tend to only like to fight yellow or brown skin men.  They negotiate and will not go to war with other white men.  Also, white men can't dance which means dance offs are never an option if our country wants to fight with another. 

Liberal Women:  Assuming we had a congress and president of just women, excluding corrupt women like Nancy Pelosi or a megalomaniac like Hillary Clinton, war would never be an option.  However, women are ruled by emotion and love to shop.  This means our government would be even larger, our deficit would be deeper and there would be government programs for everything.

I knew a girl in junior high that believed the government should spend more money saving puppies and kittens by enacting some type of government cabinet... the Dept. of Puppy Rescue.   Compassionate, yes.  Reasonable, no.

Put women into power and we'd end up with more needless programs.  Saving puppies and buying shoes do not fall under the government's responsibilities.

Conservative Women:  Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann, et al.  In theory, they could not do much harm to our country.  Then again, if you hand the keys over to retards in a nuclear plant, one of them is bound to accidentally push the wrong button.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am conservative by nature.  In theory, conservative women would be great in politics, but until we get people other than Sarah "I can see Russia from my house" Palin or Michellle "pray the gay away" Bachmann or Nancy "just say no" Reagan, I don't believe they could run an effective government.  They speak in sound bites, cliches and tend to speak impulsively without thinking. 

Jews:  The stereotype that Jews are cheap, if true, would be good for our country.  When is the last time you heard about Israel having a huge deficit or economic crisis?  You haven't.  Despite being smaller than Rhode Island, Israel has nuclear weapons and a large military yet are not dangling on the string of economic collapse.  They even have lower tax rates on their citizens than the U.S. 

A population of about 7 million in a country smaller than Rhode Island with a large military and highly advanced weapons with every country surrounding them wanting to eliminate them should be more difficult to maintain economic stability than our country.

The downside to having Jews run our country would be Streisand, Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker.  If you think the women of the Democratic party are unattractive....

Midgets:  Short people always want to fight and are always overcompensating.  See George W. Bush for more details.

Gays:  More emotionally guided people with an obsession with shoes. Moving on...

Liberal Blacks:  Oprah's choice, Obama, had his chance.  And don't get me started on Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton.  Moving on. 

Conservative Blacks:  Add Alan West or J.C. Watts and either would have my vote immediately.  However, conservative blacks probably will never have the full support of the black community due to decades of conditioning.  Also, lets be honest, when someone says "conservative blacks" this is the first image that will enter your mind

Yes, conservative blacks tend to be nerdy.  Which leads me to this:

Nerds:  On paper, nerds sound like a great choice.  They are smart.  They don't care about sex so they will always be focused on working and getting things done and fixed.  But the problem with nerds is they are socially awkward and usually carry around an asthma inhaler.  In case of a crisis, the last thing our country needs is some stuttering wheezing nerd standing at the pulpit during a press conference telling us everything will be okay. 

Which leads to the only logical choice left:

Internet Know it Alls:  YES!  People like me would be great presidents.