Bliblical Proportions

In the beginning, there was you and I; a toothless tiger and a butterfly. 

In a still voice, it was sternly stated: "Let there be light".  Suddenly, the darkness abated and you walked into my life.

Eden is for you and me.  Make yourself at home.  Have whatever you'd like but the fruit from that tree.  Her skin so delicate, her eyes so green. The taste of her sin was only meant for me.

In a tempting voice, I heard it said, "just take one bite, listen to me, instead".

You, my forbidden fruit, why are you still here?  What is it you love me for?  Are you an angel or babylon's whore?  You, my sweet blood diamond.  My hands are clean on this lonely island.  You say I am as frightening as a toothless tiger.  It's just you and I, my beautiful butterfly.

It is written, I shouldn't be with you.  Some words are easy to ignore.  Make it easier for me and tell me what you love me for.

The rain is coming; a perfect storm.  Don't blame me if you're not safe and warm.  When the door of the ark is shut, the wrath will then begin.  Will you swim after me, my beautiful forbidden sin?

Throw me into the lion's den.  Put on some makeup and count to ten.  You've always looked beautiful in belligerence.   You, my sweet tyrant, are my deliverance.

In the beginning, it was a perfect world.  Somewhere along the way, an if was added.  If this was a perfect world, if this was a perfect world wouldn't be an adage.  If this was a perfect world, that tree would have not been planted and I wouldn't be so disenchanted.

You, in your crown of thorns.  Me, in the belly of a whale.  If this is our last supper, I will drink from your chalice, my holy grail.  Tell me what you love me for so I can try harder.  God knows I was born to be your martyr. 

You, my stubborn ass, should know there is no salvation clinging to pride.  I'll talk to the thief hanging to my right while you decide. 

It is written, I shouldn't be with you.  Some words are easy to ignore.  Make it easier for me and tell me what you love me for.

In the beginning, it was just you and I; a toothless tiger and a butterfly.

The State of the Union

Tomorrow night the president will be giving his state of the union speech.  Odds are, it won't be watched by many.  Who wants to watch a pep rally where the head cheerleader  tells lie after lie   talks  for two hours? 

The other night, I found myself around channel 205 as I searched for something to watch.  I ended up on CSPAN3.  Who knew there were THREE CSPAN channels?  At this particular hour on CSPAN3 was President Bush giving his 2004 state of the union speech.  It was quite fascinating.

For two hours, he led a pep rally about how terrorists want to take away our freedoms and how we are on the verge of liberating Iraq.  He even spent a few minutes praising then Dictator of Libya, Kadhafi.  Kadhafi was praised for dismantling all of their WMD plans because he feared America would  bomb the shit out of   liberate his country.

My, how times have changed.  Just a little over a year ago, we killed Kadhafi, anyway. 

Because tomorrow's state of the union speech is predictable and because we know that this current president is going to read his teleprompter stating dishonest patriotic platitudes, I thought of something wiser and different for this president to do: 

Just replay last night's Grammy Awards instead of making a speech.

If you really want a true test of the state of our union, refer to pop culture.  Economics, war, social issues, health care... none of it matters if the state of the family and the spiritual state of our country is a mess.

There I said it... If the spiritual state of our country is in disarray, nothing else matters.

Certainly, we are being led by a  wolf in a sheep's clothing  questionable president but one man alone cannot destroy a nation. 

Pop culture is a reflection of our values.

I imagine if Rome had a Grammy's ceremony right before their fall, it would have looked a lot like last night's show.  I don't really need to breakdown every performance nor the lyrics to the songs that won shiny golden trophies.  Nor do I need to mention the countless times, words were muted by certain artists.  Nor do I really need to mention the celebration of promiscuity, drugs, drinking and every other indulgence known to man that is communicated to us through catchy songs ready to be digested by impressionable young people. 

I don't even really need to state the obvious force fed indoctrination that was being done during the awkward gay and straight wedding ceremony part of the show.  I could say how I found it disturbing to watch man marry man and woman marry woman during this SINGING award show but really, I would be wrong because the fact anyone was getting married during this show IS and was one of many things that personally bothered me.

Marriage is a union between two people in love under God.  It is cheapened when this holy union is used as a pawn during an awards show.  Say whatever you think about gay marriage.  I have my own views.  Last night, marriage as a whole was cheapened.

Certainly, the atheists probably prefer seeing people get married on a TV awards show that glorifies the ills of society versus being done in a church where a God fearing man pronounces the couple as one.

But before, I get into the atheists, I should mention that once again, another music awards ceremony attempted to condition us with these images and satanic symbols of the all seeing eye and baphomet (the goats head).  Believe what you want about these images but the fact remains, they are rooted in evil.   Refer to Jay Z's hero, Allister Crowley, if you don't understand the deep dark undertones and meaning of these images. 

Remember, nothing is a coincidence.
Nothing is an accident.

From the Grammys to the MTV Music Award Show to simple three minute music videos, we are being flooded with Satanic imagery.  There is no denying it.

The question is why?

My other question is where were the atheists?  Atheists spend a lot of time denouncing the existence of God and those who believe in Him.  They even make efforts to eliminate crosses, manger scenes during Christmas and replace Christ with  an X in the holiday known as Christmas.  Atheists spend a lot of energy trying to silence something they don't believe in and those who believe that very deity they don't believe in.  Why are they trying to silence something good but ignoring the enemy of God, the devil?

Certainly, if you don't believe in God, then you don't believe in Satan.  Why aren't atheists trying to silence the Satanists?  They desperately want to remove all Christian images and symbols from the public arena; all the while, they remain silent as Satanic images and symbols are flooding the Grammys and other awards shows.

It's ironic to me that two years ago, a Christian singer was one of the finalists on American Idol.  He was told by the producers to stop thanking Jesus because not only may it offend some people but turn them off from voting for him.  Colton Dixon ignored their demands.

So, one man on a singing audition show is told not to say Jesus while professional singers on an awards show are donning the goats head and no one says anything.  The atheists remain quiet.

Atheists like to blame religion for wars, Catholicism for pedophilia, and every other ill of society on believers.  I will say this:  Joseph Stalin killed three times as many people as Hitler.  He was an atheist.  That doesn't mean, atheists are murderers.  It means, Stalin was a bad guy.  Catholics don't molest children.  Bad people are placed in positions of power within the Catholic church and then abuse that power to take advantage of the innocent.

Bad people are to blame for the crimes against humanity.

Tomorrow night, President Obama will be giving the state of the union address.  I doubt, like every president before him, he will even mention God but if he does, it will just be a buzz word for this annual pep rally.

The state of our union is divided, weak and sick.

Don't believe me?  Watch last nights Grammys. 

Thank you, Internet

Sixty years ago, men could get off looking at the bra section in a Sears catalog.  Today, those same catalogs have no effect on our libido.  As a kid when HBO was the latest luxury and we couldn't afford it, I would sit and stare at the snowy screen in hopes for a brief shot of some woman's breast.  Today, kids without cable; even kids without a computer can find nudity anywhere.

Thank you, internet, for desensitizing us men and boys.  And thank you for eliminating the mystery of sex and the human body.

Once upon a time, men would shamefully stand in line at the local 7-11 to buy a Penthouse or a Playboy.  Boys were stealing magazines from their fathers.  All of this for a few snapshots of breasts and a finely shaved bush.  Once upon a time, women didn't shave everything completely. 

Thank you, internet, for removing all shame for men of standing in line to buy a dirty magazine. 

In all these years, I have been alive, I have only stood in line ONCE to buy a "dirty" magazine.  It was a Playboy featuring a young Drew Barrymoore.  It was just my luck that the cashier was an attractive woman.  The way she looked at me as she rang up my magazine made me feel like I was wearing a Scarlet "P" as in pervert. 

Thank you, internet, for allowing my Scarlet P to only be worn at home where nobody knows.

So, a friend and I were discussing porn recently.  We started naming off all of the legal options available with one click of our mouse:  threesomes, animal porn, anal sex, gang bangs, granny porn... and just to emphasize how desensitized and bored the internet has made us with sex, you can find porn of  30 year old women with pigtails wearing a school girl uniform as they are about to get nailed by their teacher.  Because using real school kids in porn is illegal and because there are men who fantasize over school kids, we now have porn where actors act like school kids.

Thank you, internet, for making regular man on woman, penis and vagina penetration porn boring to us.

But really, as my friend and I were discussing porn, we started questioning why everything is so extreme online.  So, as the analytical person that I am, my thoughts led me to Facebook.

Just about everything we do and see on Facebook is extreme:

Ever wonder why those terrible singers on American Idol, the ones we all laugh at, act so shocked when the judges tell them they suck?  I blame social networks and most of the people on them.

I will explain...

Extreme complimenting:  It doesn't fail; some average looking, sometimes barely attractive, woman will post a picture of herself.  By the end of the day, that picture will have countless extreme compliments... 

"Omg, Michelle, you are the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen."
"Wow, Brenda, you are stunning."


I could go on.  Look, it's fine to tell our grandmothers they are looking good or a friend that they look pretty.  Beauty is subjective, I suppose.  But we don't even do that online.  We go the extra mile.  We lay it on thick.  Those with limited unimaginative vocabularies use extreme compliments.  I'm sorry but the majority of people are not breath taking or drop dead gorgeous.

Now, it gets even worse when people post some video of themselves singing karaoke.  I've personally watched and listened to countless videos of sub par to average "singers" only to find myself reading countless comments from people telling those barely tolerable "singers" they could sell records.  Youtube is a gathering of thousands of delusional people all believing they have star potential.  But they aren't to blame... We are. 

One minute, a god-awful untalented singer is posting a video of herself.  The next minute, she's on American Idol with her head in the clouds... all because we are fueling her ego with extreme compliments. 

Extreme flattery:

This seems to be more limited to the socially awkward who are desperate to make online friends.  These are the people who show up in one person's status and shower that person with unwarranted praise.  These are also the people who lay it on thick with extreme sympathy if some online friend's cat dies or some other personal tragedy is made public. 

Another behavior is extreme grandstanding.  This is when one person wants the world to know how kindhearted they are.

"Fed a homeless man today"
"Donated $1 million to some orphans".

Everything has to be an announcement on Facebook.  Charity is now trumpeted loudly on the pages of the social network user.  Good thing, Mother Theresa didn't have a Facebook.

Extreme bragging also is a new phenomenon.  The first day I was on the internet, about 15 years ago, I was in a chat room.  Within five minutes, some douchebag announced he has a big penis.  Fifteen years later, not only do men still announce their penis size on the internet, both men and women love to announce every aspect of their sex lives.  Hell, adults even brag about smoking pot. 

Thank you, internet, for being a place where people can brag about doing things that 95% of the rest of the population does.

Now, these men who often mention their sexual prowess are the same ones who engage in extreme sexual deviancy.   What woman hasn't been sent a random picture of a penis to their email or inbox?  Prior to the internet, a man would go to jail if he approached a woman in the mall parking lot and opened his trench coat to show her his penis.  Online, its not only okay to show women your penis, it's not even shocking anymore. 

Extreme vanity

Prior to the internet, I knew people wanted positive reinforcement.  That's natural.  Of course, we want to be told we are attractive.  But the internet has now turned us into attention whores.  Girls, women, men acting as their own paparazzi as they stand in front of their bathroom mirror with their camera phones; making ridiculous faces and then posting those pictures on facebook.  This celebrity culture we live in has everyone believing they are a star.

But the worst cases of extreme vanity are centered around cleavage.  Woman posts picture of herself wearing a low cut shirt, tits pressed against each other; all the while she's making a blowjob face with a caption, "Got a new haircut today.  What do you think?'  Come on, we can barely see your new haircut in that picture.

Social networks have turned us into shallow beings continually in search of some superficial spotlight with meaningless approval from well intentioned "friends". 

Then we move on to extreme emotions.  A celebrity dies, internet people are now "devastated".  Post an anti-Obama opinion and extreme rage sets in on those who admire this president.  Prior to the birth of the internet, I would have arguments with friends over politics and even religion.  But I have never eliminated that friend from my life for disagreeing with me.  Online, extreme rage leads us to the deletion button and we un-friend people quickly.


I think my favorite observation of extreme behaviors online is simply the use of an extreme acronym.... ROFLMAO.  Someone write a mildly amusing, almost funny comment and out of nowhere, a "friend" is suddenty rolling around on the floor laughing   I've seen a lot of funny stuff in my life.  Not once, have I laughed so hard, I ended up on the floor rolling around.  But that's me.

Online, we take everything to an extreme.  We use extreme words either to compliment someone or to insult them.  Everything is taken so seriously here.

It's no wonder that, at least once a week, we hear about someone killing themselves because of a "cyber bully".  Before the internet, suicide was a depression thing or a mental illness result.  Today, it's sometime a result of not being accepted in the shallow, superficial world of the internet.

Extreme actions and behaviors will always result in extreme reactions. 

And lastly, thank you internet for all the times, you've made me laugh, shake my head and sigh at others.

And I end this with a Tweet that had me ROFLMAO:

Just to make You proud

Here's how the story went... our not so perfect accident.

We were high for twenty years; twenty years more than allowed.  I would do anything to make him proud.

Daddy wants a brand new son; the kind you find in a convenient store.  Your accident has become a man.  Daddy, I'm not your son anymore. 

Off he went, I became what's his name.  It's okay, I am better for it.  I'd do anything just to make him proud.  Spent a lifetime searching for his approval just so I could ignore it.


After dinner, I said farewell; knowing these twenty years were over.  I figure if there is a heaven, at least, there he will be sober.

Some say, they will never understand.  It's okay, he's better for it.  I would do anything just to make him proud.  Spent two decades watching him die but I felt important.

Off he went, I became the ghost.  Arrivederci, Adios.

When the living haunt the dead, we're still trying to make them proud.  It's okay, some things are still allowed.



When she asks why I write words like these; over flowing my eccentricities, I can't explain this gnawing need to escape the liberties I've been endowed.  Truth is, I just want to make her proud.

She knows how this story went.  Here I am, her accident.

Brain Fuck

I could brain fuck this
all day long


They found water on the moon

I don't want to be an astronaut
unless I'm flying on the tail end
of a balloon


But I'd rather be your kite

Never mind
I don't want to be a puppet in flight

I could brain fuck this
all day long

They say love is as elusive
as a good dream

I want to be a whisper

Never mind
I was destined to be a scream

hey, speak to me as if I matter

I'm coming around the corner
watch all hope scatter

I could brain fuck this
all day long

They are telling lies
to the liars
And all the liars
ask me for an answer

I'd rather be the radiation
than the cancer

Never mind
They both make me sick

Chalk another one up for guilt
I'm feeling like a brick

I could brain fuck this
all day long

I'd rather be Superman
than Jesus

As all the wannabe Saviors
gather for a last supper
and wonder, "who really needs us?"

Like I said
I could brain fuck this
all day long

I'd rather ride off into the sunset
than resurrect at dawn

I could brain fuck everything

I don't want to be a hand grenade
I'd rather be an atom bomb


hey, look at me like in those days far gone

As I said
I could brain fuck you
all day long

The List

Sometimes, I look at my mom with this certain degree of awe.  Considering everything she has gone through from childhood until now, I would be remiss to not recognize why she is how she is and to forgive those things that others may find unforgivable.

I could make a list of a thousand wrongs she has committed, a thousand nuisances and quirks that literally drive me insane, and a thousand more of her traits that make me grind my teeth.

One day, that list will cease to exist,  In its place will be a list of all the good she has done; a list of every moment where she sacrificed her own life, her well being for ME.  One day, I won't being able to recall any of these moments where I just wanted to walk out of her life forever.

A few years ago, I stumbled onto an old box of my childhood memories.  It consisted of report cards, baby pictures, hundreds and hundreds of pictures of me growing up... there is a lock of hair from my first haircut, an imprint of my baby foot and my baby hand... In this well preserved box are countless handwritten mothers day, valentines, birthday and other cards.  It's amazing to me that for the first 10 years of my life, I was in awe of this woman and how much I was willing to overlook certain things and just simply loved her.

It says a lot that through all these years, she has kept this box and all its belongings in pristine condition.  Ever doubt your parents love you?  Just go looking for those things they have saved of YOU. 



"My mother died in my arms tonight", my heart skipped a beat and I got this sunken sick feeling in the pit of my stomach because one day, I will be the one sending out that text message instead of being the recipient of it. 

"I am hot", those were her last words, said this friend about her mother.


Mom took me to Disneyland when I was a kid.  We drove 12 hours in her beat up muffler-less banana colored Pontiac.  Her car broke down in 120 degree heat in Yuma, Arizona.  I wouldn't have blamed her if she had cancelled the trip.  The hard earned money she saved up for this vacation was now going to have to be used for her car. 

The funny thing about a parent's love is they don't give up, they don't cancel dreams of little boys.  They make do, so to speak.

After a day stuck in this Hell on earth and a night in a cockroach infested motel, she found a way to get us to Disneyland.

On the ride back home, proudly wearing my new Mickey Mouse ears, I threw a tantrum.  I don't remember why I was upset but in my haste, I threw those ears out the car window.  Mom's hard earned money, out the window.  In her anger, she pulled over to the side of the highway, pulled my pants down and spanked me in front of all the traffic.

She did the right thing.  I deserved it. 

This one event, this one angry spanking used to be on my list of a thousand wrongs she has committed.  I know better now.  She loved me.  I am/was frustrating.  She raised me alone.  She worked 18 hours a day everyday for ME.  That's the funny thing about a parent's love, they don't seek accolades or mother of the year trophies but they do want gratitude.

At some point between that trip to Disneyland and puberty, I love you stopped coming out of her mouth.  I used to think it was because somehow, I became unlovable.  I used to include this omission from my thousand wrongs she has committed list.

I know better now.


What do you say to a friend whose mother died in her arms?  How can I understand her agonizing grief when there have been times, I wanted my own mother to stop breathing? 

Maybe, I'm sorry is the only thing to say.  Maybe, I'm sorry is intended exclusively for the living.  Maybe that old worn out cliche of you don't know what you've got until it's gone is true.  In fact, it is true.

One person's tragedy inevitably will become our own.  You can't empathize with another person unless you know how they feel or can imagine how you would feel if you were them.  It's natural to take one's tragic event and personalize it.

So, I take last nights tragedy that a dear friend is facing and I personalize it.  Her life changing moment is now mine.  It's a part of me.  Because when that day comes and my own mother has to go, I will have something to draw from.

The funny thing about a parents love is it comes in so many different ways.  It's always shown by action; never never by words alone.  Some parents may not show affection.  Others may not utter those three words.  Some parents may make us grind our teeth.  Some parents may just quietly slip into the night with last words that seem so meaningless. 

I imagine this friend was hoping for some encore, some heartfelt goodbye before the final exit.  I suppose it's probably a lot to ask.

Funny thing about parents love that I think we all forget... The most loving act a mother does is give us life.  That moment they choose US should be enough.  It never is.  It never feels sufficient until they are gone.

I have a list of a  thousand wrongs my mom has committed, a list of a thousand of her quirks and annoying habits that literally drive me crazy and a list of a thousand more of her traits that make me grind my teeth.

I am not looking forward to the day that list ceases to exist.

To my dear friend, I am sorry. 

Don't Go

Another year in the rear view mirror.  Objects may appear closer than they are.  Got my hand in my pocket; fumbling for change.  I'll buy you a ticket to anywhere but here.

Don't go.

Has anyone ever told you how you perfect you are?  Tell me to stop if I'm going too far.  Got my hand around your neck; feeling for a pulse.  Is it just me or did I suck the air out of you?  Tell me how you like it and I'm bound to get it right.  Back in the day, I took nothing for granted.  Now, I'm at a crossroad and I don't know what to choose.

Say a little prayer that I will come through.  Another empty sentence will not hurt you.  Got my foot on the pedal; the shift in reverse.  I'll run over yesterday because it still hurts.

Don't go.

Maybe I'm not the knight I presented myself to be.  Could we start over or end this amicably?  Got my tongue on your thighs; just to make you squirm.  I'm going through my bag of tricks while you go through the motions.  If I'm just a diversion from the very thing you love, show me the door and I'll politely walk away. 

Tell me the truth if you even know how.  Another vial of your lies is the last thing I need now.  I could overdose on your words like I have done many times before.  Got my fingers in my ears because God knows I want more. 

I think it's best we no longer speak.  Please return my things and the key to my heart.  You have to admit that the closer I try to get, the more you push us apart.  Why should I ask for something you're unable to give?  Back in the day, it was all different.  I'm guessing there's enough blame to pass all around.  Got my foot in my mouth so I'm not tempted to swallow my pride. 

Don't go.

Another tragic sunset followed by the black.  Once upon a time, you loved me to the moon and back.  Got my eyes on the planets and my thoughts on the stars.  You're not the only one who bleeds or bears any scars.

Maybe, its you and not really me.  There may be other fish but after you, I am avoiding the sea. 

Don't go.

Has anyone ever told you how perfect you are?  Tell me to stop if I'm going too far.  Got my hand over your heart to feel if I'm still alive.  I feel a  faint beat and a cold chill.   Has the ice queen returned for a snack?  Don't eat my whole heart, I may want it back.

Don't go.

Who Knew?

There I was; sitting in my office at work, on the phone with a customer.  As usual, we were discussing her divorce, her bad luck with men... we were discussing her life.  We rarely spoke business because this customer was a friend.   I never met Laurie but I knew everything about her life.  Our friendship simply involved the telephone.

One day, she's telling me a story about her latest boyfriend; some redneck she met on some strange place found on a computer.  She said that place was called Myspace.  I had never heard of it.  Sure, I had a computer but it was more of a portal for playing solitaire, watching porn and emailing people.  This notion of social networking was foreign to me.

Laurie knew I enjoyed writing stuff.  That's all she knew about me.  Our conversations were always about her; which was fine by me.  She was my customer.  She made me a lot of money.  She eventually became my telephone friend. 

"You should join Myspace.  Ya know, you can write stuff there and friends will read your stuff if ya want them to", Laurie told me in her thick raspy unsophisticated voice. 

"The internet is for pedos and fags", I replied.   Our comfort level with each other was at a level where I could use any offensive word and not have to worry about losing her business.  It probably helped that she was a truck driver's daughter and her limited vocabulary was all centered around various uses of the word fuck. 

After countless stories of her redneck boyfriend she met on Myspace, I eventually caved in.  I clumsily made myself a profile, added thousands of random people, a handful of real life friends and then began playing around with the blogging feature that existed on that potentially life changing platform.

Now, at the time, I didn't consider this to be life changing.  In fact, I was a little embarrassed to even admit to my real life friends I had a profile there.  The internet is for pedos and fags... that's what we all believed.

As I began to learn how to navigate myself around Myspace, I started typing in the names of my real life friends into the search button.  Lo and behold, they were all there.  They all had myspace profiles.  But guess what?  I didn't dare mention that I knew their dirty little secret because that would mean I would have to admit I have become "one of them".

Funny how life is... Who knew one could become the very thing he mocks? 

Myspace became a little oasis during the day.  It was my little vacation home when boredom set in.  Then, it evolved to become a permanent place of residence.

I started writing stuff.  Random people took an interest in my words.  I started showing up in some strange blog rankings Myspace had which distinguished the popular "writers" from the unknown.  Rankings that gave me a sense of pride with a dash of delusion blended in.  "I'M FAMOUS!"  I thought, as I would find myself nestled between a blog from The Jonas Brothers and the supermodel wife of Peter Brady.

Who knew artificial rankings not based on talent but simply representing the number of views your blog was seen could grow one man's ego to an enormous degree?  But hey, in my defense, I didn't really understand how social networks work.  I was deluded by my own naivety. 

It didn't take long for me to begin to meet new bloggers and read their words.  And then in some miraculous twist of fate, I made friends.  I made friends that simply existed inside my computer.  I was embarrassed by the fact. 

Who knew making friends inside a computer could be embarrassing?  The irony that I met these friends inside my computer was all due to my telephone friend, Laurie, was lost on me. 

Here we are, eight years later, at the beginning of 2014 and some of my best friends still live inside my computer; friends I probably will never meet, friends whom sometimes creep into my dreams, friends I think about when my computer is off.

Back in 2007, on that dreaded place called Myspace, I met this woman named Michelle.  She was a woman born with Muscular Dystrophy.  She wrote these poignant blogs about her life and struggles. They were almost always funny befit with sarcasm and a touch of wisdom.  She was universally loved by all her friends; those of us inside her computer and of course, her real life ones.

On her About Me section of her Myspace page, this was written:

In the last few years, I've been told by various people I should tell my story, get it out there or even write a book. I'm told my personality and life experiences conflicts with someone who has a physical illness. So rather than feeling overwhelmed and writing a whole book, I thought I would start off here and mainly in Blogs [READ THE BLOGS FOR MORE DETAILED INFORMATION]. And then maybe eventually I can put it all in a book.

Funny how life is... Here I am three years after her death and she just randomly showed up in my thoughts tonight. A friend from inside my computer whom I only knew from her blogs and some relatively funny conversations impacted me to such a degree that I find myself missing her and her refreshing view of life.

Who knew that someone from inside my computer could be more real than almost anyone else I have ever literally met? 

I wish Michelle had lived long enough to write her book.

I wish words like maybe and eventually didn't exist.

I wish we treated time like a valuable finite resource instead of letting it waste away as we discuss our own potential and our own dreams. 

These eight years I have spent wandering the deserts of social networking has finally led me to this oasis which is this understanding that life is a tapestry of events and characters that culminate into an exquisite, sublime plan. 

Funny how life is... One day, you're sitting in your office on the telephone thinking you have life all figured out.  Then eight years later, you realize that learning about ourselves and how we fit into this twisted world can only be done through the eyes of other people.  And sometimes those people exist in a virtual world where touch ceases to exist but the shrapnel of their words and the vagueness of their identities comes to a complete understanding that indeed they do not solely exist inside our computers but have become real life friends who will impact us from that day forward.

Who knew?