Internet Pet Peeves

It's no secret that I have a million pet peeves and find that I have new one just about everyday.  I blame it all on the internet.

Prior to the internet, my pet peeves were limited and similar to everyone elses pet peeves:  bad drivers, people who eat too loud, women who fart, cats, people who LOVE cats too much, cats that meow for no reason, lazy eyes, fanny packs, ugly feet, and jean shorts. 

Because of the internet, that list is now endless.  I can't really help that I am so judgmental.  Sure, I try but then it never fails, some internet person invents a new way to annoy me.  Take for instance, the recent death of a friend's uncle.  Within minutes of his death announcement, some relative posted some unnerving picture of the dead uncles head floating around in heaven with Jesus standing there with open arms.  After unfortunately being witness to this "artistic" attempt at comforting the dead uncle's friends and family, I realized that a lot of funeral programs are adorned with dead floating heads.   I now picture heaven just being a bunch of floating heads thanks to this strange way to honor someone who just died. 


(to conceal my friends dead uncle's identity, i cleverly added the hat and facial hair)

Really, I think what annoys me most, specifically on social networks, are the statuses people post.  The level of self-absorption is rather fascinating.  Take for instance, if somebody didn't pay their internet bill and it's about to be shut off.  It never fails we can expect that person to announce to all of us they will be absent for a few days.  Do people really think we notice when they are gone?  This belief that we are super important to everyone on our friends list enough to tell them we will be without internet for a few days or what we ate for dinner or anything else that involves needless information intrigues me as an observer of people and annoys me as a judgmental person. 

The other status type that bugs me are the ones where people talk to dead people.  "Mom, you died 12 years ago today.  I miss you".  Let's not pretend those types of statuses are posted to honor the dead mom.  They are self-serving.  It's a "hey everyone, I need a hug and I am super sad today" kind of post.  There isn't anything wrong wanting comfort or attention from your online friends, I suppose but let's not pretend those statuses are about the dead people.  They aren't. 

And speaking of talking to people who can't or won't read your statuses, another pet peeve of mine are those people who talk to celebrities on their own page.  Just the other day, I watched somebody wish David Cassidy a happy birthday.  Sorry to break it to you, woman with bad taste in celebrity crushes, but Mr. Cassidy will never see your post. 

I don't even really understand what this woman was trying to accomplish.  Since David Cassidy will never see her "artistic" happy birthday Cassidy cake birthday card, is she just bragging that she loves this mediocre celebrity or does she really LOVE him?  I can't come to a logical conclusion.

My list of pet peeves is long and grows longer by the day.  It's really my issue. 

Now, I'm off to the doctor for a colonoscopy and probably won't be back online for a few hours.  Probably some time between the hamburger helper I am having for dinner and getting my mail.

Happy Birthday, Martin Lawence (in case you're reading this).