A New Year

I don't subscribe to this belief that life is merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences.  Nope.  Rather, it's a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan.

I made it into the newspaper as a kid. 

Age 5, as the ice cream truck made its way down our street, the temptation was too much.  

Quarter in hand, I ran out the front door; ready to reward myself.  As I hastily ran across the street to meet the ice cream man, a white van ran me over.

A trip in an ambulance ensued.


Here we are.  At the end of another year.  I suppose nothing of significance defined this year for me.  My health is fine.  No one I loved, died.  I didn't gain weight or lose hair.  I didn't buy any large ticket items.  Nope.  It was an ordinary year.

Each morning as I shower, I relive the same scene over and over.  I grab the wet bar of soap, my mind wanders into the plans for the day, I squeeze the bar of soap too hard and it slips out of my hand.


I realize that it's a metaphor for my life.  I tend to squeeze too hard when it comes to those I love. 


We fell through the ice when we tried not to slip.  That one line from the Verve Pipe from years ago still plays in my head.  I suppose it's a warning.  Take risks.  Let go.  Don't be so calculating. 

I'm ending this year still madly in love.  With her.  I still get chills when I hear her voice. 

Everyone has stories of unrequited love, dwindling passions, misplaced priorities and uncounted blessings.  I suppose the new year is viewed as a new beginning for some.  Maybe, a new opportunity for rebirth or just a do over.

Personally, I don't want a do over.  There isn't a damn thing I would change.  Certainly, I miss those friends I held onto so tightly that they slipped out of my life.  And yes, I still ache for the loved ones whose lives ended well before their proverbial expiration dates.  But since I believe life is a myriad of tragedies and miracles for a reason, I suppose I've come to terms with balance. 


At the age of five, I was hit by a white van while chasing the ice cream truck.  As I laid in my hospital bed with a fractured arm and various scrapes, the doctor repeatedly told me, I was lucky to be alive.

My reward for such luck was....

A bowl of ice cream.

Life is a tapestry of events that culminate into an exquisite, sublime plan.  Anyone who tells you differently, fails to see the beauty in irony.  But most importantly, fails to see the irony in beauty.

In 2 days, it will be a new year.

Thank God.