Natural Causes

I know of a story of an elderly man who died within weeks of the passing of his wife.  For several decades, they were a team.  They were partners.  They were in love from the moment they met.

When she unexpectedly died, he soon followed.

His death certificate simply stated natural causes.

I can't think of anything more natural than losing your will to go on when the one you love has passed. 

But that's me.

I see it all the time.  When one is suffering from a broken heart or when one is missing a significant person in their life, their health deteriorates.  It's only natural.


The dad I have never known died three years ago. 

When a soldier dies in war, the military protocol is to send a notification officer to that soldier's family to break the news in person.

Google was my notification officer.

Upon reading my father's obituary online, his cause of death was natural causes.

From all accounts, he left behind a pile of debts, many enemies, an unacknowledged son and a legacy of shame.

And I can't help but wonder if guilt played a part in his dying naturally.


I have listened to people engage in the You complete me vs. No person should depend on another to complete them debate.

I have my own thoughts.

I could sit here and say, we should be complete on our own.  I could throw out every cliche in the book.  I could convince everyone I am made of granite.  I could say some are weak and some are tough.  I could put up a false facade.  I can suggest that I have weathered all storms and nothing can break me. 

I could lie.

But it wouldn't be natural.  For me.


A man points at his heart and says, it hurts right here.  He isn't speaking literally.

I know a woman who buried her own child.
I know a woman who was once young and foolish and aborted the inconvenience growing inside of her.

I know a man who watched his own mother take her last breath on his bedroom floor.

I know a girl who found her brother's lifeless body in his own bed.

I know a man who over communicates because he just wants answers or a semblance of hope due to the feeling he is losing all he holds dear.

I know a mother who believes she is unlovable.

I know a man who watched lymphoma slowly rob his mother of her life for two years.  As he stood in front of the congregation at her funeral, he calmly said, "My mother.  The woman who gave me life."  That's all he said.  He slowly walked off stage , sat down, and smiled.

Three days later, he was in the hospital because of a sudden aneurysm.

No one can convince me that we don't need each other.  No one can ever make me believe that our lives are in our own hands. 

I believe we are a sum of our parts and our parts are made up of those we choose to love and those decisions we make or fail to make. 

We all die naturally.

When my time comes, I am certain it will be written... natural causes.

What a beautiful way to exit.