20 Seconds

Sometimes, when we are talking, I don't hear a damn thing she says.  It's her voice.  It's the sweetest sound in the world. 

We've had some close calls.  A long break up.  Ridiculous fights.  Insane insecurities.  Health scares.

Her, coming to her senses.


I knew within 20 seconds of meeting her that she was the one.  I also knew that she was going to have to choose me.  Women like her, men like me, don't choose.  They choose us.

I'd like to say I deserve her.  I don't.

Things like this aren't stated in a moment of weakness or during some self-pitied epiphany.  It isn't said so others will bury me in praise or complimentary toasts. 

It's stated because it is a fact.  I don't deserve her.  I doubt anyone does.

My twenty seconds of making an eternal impression were clumsy. 

I don't remember one damn thing I said to her.  I hoped to avoid eye contact because I knew I would start feeling self-conscious like she was staring at some wayward nose hair or blemish on my skin.  I had hoped that she could overlook any imperfections and see something in me that I've never seen myself.

A woman like her shouldn't be talking to a man like me.

But she did.  She clung to every word.  She nodded.  She smiled.  She even touched my arm.

I remember those things.

I swear I am the luckiest man alive.  I don't deserve to be.

I suppose you'd have to know her to get it.


My whole life I've had a blue print of the perfect woman in my mind.  Sundresses, flip flops, pony tails, green eyes, a smile like no other...

If I am an architect, then her creator far exceeded my plans.  He took my vague dream and built a monument.

I suppose you'd have to see her to get it.


She had a root canal done today.  In the midst of her drug induced haze, she told me she loved me.  For some reason, I couldn't swallow.  It caught me off guard.  It's her voice.  It's the sweetest sound in the world.

I suppose you'd have to talk with her to get it.

In my alone time, I watch a lot of movies.  Last night, the movie I watched, made this declaration, "You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it."

It really resonated with me.  Unbeknownst to me at the time I met her, I had my twenty seconds of courage. 

These connections we make in life are miracles.  They aren't handed to us.  We don't even earn them, either.  They just happen.

God knows I don't deserve her.

In the final scene of the specific movie I watched last night, the main character meets her.

In his twenty seconds of courage, he asks, "Why would an amazing woman like you even talk to someone like me?"

Her response, "Why not?"

I suppose you'd have to be in love to get this.