My Speeding Ticket (Rant)

It took 19 years of driving to finally get my first speeding ticket.

It happened this morning.  But I am not taking this bullshit lightly.

The most important person in my life practices law for a living.  Yeah, she's practicing it.  While she is busy practicing, I am busy perfecting it.

Anyway, I am fighting this ticket all the way to the Supreme Court, if I have to.

Let's look at the facts in my case:

*I was going 57 mph.  The speed limit was 45. 

*But I was only 1/2 mile away from the freeway where the speed limit is 65 mph.

*If you do the math, 57 is the exact speed limit if you add 45 and 65 together and divide it by 2.

For those who practice math, I perfected it years ago.

*Going 57 mph is completely reasonable; considering I was the only one on the road and the freeway was really close.

*Second of all, I live in a retirement community.  Every old person in my city drives 30 mph.  Some even drive fucking golf carts on the streets.

Why aren't they getting tickets?  Who's more dangerous?  Someone like me driving 57 or one of those blind, barely seeing over the steering wheel, slow to react, blue haired, should be in a nursing home drooling over the daily menu of tapioca pudding old people going 30 mph?

The answer is obvious.  ME.  I am the safe one.

But let's just pretend that I am the felon this damn cop believed I was.  Let's pretend that going 12 mph over the speed limit is such a heinous crime.

Sometimes, some crimes are warranted.

For example, say a woman is on her period and has no money for tampons.  Would it be wrong for her to walk into her local grocery store and rob them at gun point?  Of course, not.

Or say, you have diarrhea really bad and you are nowhere near a bathroom.  Would it be so wrong to pull your pants down in aisle 13 at Walmart and take a shit right there if you couldn't hold it in any longer?  Of course, not.

Some laws are meant to be flexible.

And this hold true of my speeding ticket.

I overslept this morning.  Also, if I didn't have to work on New Years Eve Eve, like most people, I wouldn't have had to speed. 

Once the cop pulled me over, I rolled my window down.  I was completely polite.

"Good morning, Sir", I said.
"DO YOU KNOW WHY I PULLED YOU OVER, CRACKER?"  He angrily asked me."I was probably going just a tad too fast, Sir.  I am deeply sorry."  I kindly said.
"HOW FAST DO YOU THINK YOU WERE GOING, HONKY?"  He sternly asked.

"Sir, I was probably going 55 mph?"  I replied.
"YOU WERE GOING 57 MPH.  YOU COULD HAVE KILLED SOMEONE."  He said.

Then, he took my insurance, registration and license and went back to his vehicle.  He sat in his car for 30 minutes "writing my ticket".  I believe he was pleasuring himself to my driver's license because it shouldn't take 30 fucking minutes to write a 3 sentence ticket.

Once he was done pleasuring himself to my license and writing my ticket, he handed everything back to me and gave me a stern warning:
"I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU SPEEDING EVER AGAIN. MY STREETS NEED TO REMAIN SAFE FOR ALL OF GOD'S CHILDREN AND HIS ELDERLY FOLKS.  CRACKER ASS WHITE BOY."
Then, I headed to work.
 
Do I have a case?

Is 12 mph over the speed limit too fast?

Do all black cops hate white fine citizens like myself?