Trying too hard

If I was a car salesman with my own office, my desk would be cluttered with things you'd expect to find: a calculator, car brochures, pens and notepads.  I wouldn't stop there.  I'd have pictures of my girlfriend, maybe my mom and most importantly a coffee mug that read, "World's Greatest Dad."

I do have a beautiful girlfriend and a mom but the kids... well, they don't exist, yet.

I suppose creating this perception that I have kids and that I am the world's greatest dad could be considered a lie but, in sales, perception can be the difference between a mediocre paycheck and a large commission.

I am fascinated with the perceptions we create, the perceptions people have of us and the realities behind who each of us are.

Probably the most common thought that goes through my head when I judgmentally observe people around here is, "you're trying too hard".

When I first joined Facebook, admittedly, I felt out of place.  I felt unaccomplished, a disappointment and maybe,a little sorry for myself.  Everyone I knew from my past was happily married or had kids.  Each and every person I had ever considered close seemed to all be living the perfect life.

I suppose on a social network, painting a picture of our reality via sound bites and photo ops is going to lean more towards the positive aspects of our lives.   And if the positives are few, I suppose we may exaggerate those that do exist.

It's creating a perception.

In my head, I pretty much have everyone categorized around here.  One side of the spectrum are the freaks with their genital pictures and lame pick up lines.  Then, with the other extreme, we have the inspirational crowd; those who do nothing but regurgitate positivity and post unicorn pictures.  In between, we have the cat crowd, the always sick crowd, the TMI people, the angry political types, and then those I actually feel a sense of loyalty with.

Regardless of my opinion on individuals, I think most of us try too hard; including myself.

I do not believe the creepy people on here are necessarily creepy offline.  I, also, do not believe the angelic, saintly types with their sparkly unicorn pics and worn out Maya Angelou quotes are necessarily good people offline.


It's not to say that some aren't consistent in character in both existences.

I do believe that there is very little difference between the positivity people and the freaks.   Overkill is overkill.  Constantly talking about your fetishes and how horny you are is really no different than the endless postings of cats jumping on rainbows with some cliche about smiling more and loving everyone.

It's just a perception,  For some, it's living vicariously through the persona we have invented for ourselves online; to be who we wish we really were.  For others, it's a chance to be noticed and feel important or extraordinary..

I don't really know 90% of my friends list but I can give an adjective about each person on it.  Odds are, I will be wrong in my perception of each of them.

The internet has bred a whole generation of narcissists.  We saw it on myspace.   When our blogs ranked, we felt a sense of celebrity.  The positivity people and the poets believed they were healing the world with one cliche after another. Original thought was now defined by rephrasing someone else's original thought and then feeling proud of ourselves for being so clever and deep.

I don't really know if I have a point other than, I don't think any of us really know each other.  I think, most of us are so self-absorbed and worried about being perceived a certain way, we lose sight on the reality of who we are.  I think we lose a piece of our self every time we log in here.

One day, I will start every morning; drinking coffee from a mug that reads "worlds greatest dad" but the best part is it won't be sitting on my desk at work.

It will be left at home on my kitchen counter next to my kid's lunches.