So, a friend of mine breaks up with this dude. Step by step, he follows the exact same trends all dudes do when broken up with: He tells her he will change. Then, he claims he read some self-help books and now understands what he did wrong. Then, he starts texting her with some really ridiculous lyrics to lame love songs. Then, he buys her flowers. But like the douche he is, he hand delvers them to her work; giving off the impression that he is so sweet. But we all know hand delivered flowers are a man's way to give off the perception he is sweet. It's a man's way to put the spotlight on himself instead of the woman that he is "apologizing" to or trying to win over. Hand delivered flowers are a transparent way to get a woman's co-workers pity and praise. It's manipulation.
After the flowers, he began the non-stop emails and texts with WORDS of desperation.
"The pain is unbearable."
"I will die without you."
The emotional blackmailing begins.
I know this well because I've done it before.
So, this dude keeps texting, calling and emailing constantly. He keeps begging for another chance. He becomes even more clingy than when they were together. He has become a borderline stalker.
So, this friend, starts to worry. I decide to message him and explain to him why she broke up. I explained that she broke up because she simply is not romantically interested in him. After two months of dating, she realized he is not for her. It was that simple.
I explained that no words or lame poetry or hand delivered flowers have the power to make her be in love with him.
Then, I warned him to back off and that he was in danger of losing her friendship. I told him that he had become creepy and that she was beginning to resent him.
He then replied to me with the same things most guys say when they are dumped: "I am tired of being a nice guy. Women just hate nice guys. We always finish last."
It's a myth. Nice guys do not finish last. Women do want nice guys.
The problem men who use this phrase have is they either do not know the definition of nice or they are giving themselves way too much credit.
Nice guys do not call themselves nice guys. If you have to tell others you are a nice guy, you are not a nice guy. Note to single women: If you are ever on a dating site or are talking to a man and he tells you that he is the guy next door type and is just a regular nice guy, RUN.
Run as fast as you can.
Genuine nice guys will be nice with their actions; they will not be trying to convince you through words they are nice.
Men who claim to be misunderstood are arrogantly belittling those who deemed them as "not their type" or decided they were not "datable".
"The woman doesn't want to be with me anymore? Well, she obviously is retarded or she just doesn't get me", says the man with the highly misguided opinion of himself.
Women do want nice regular next door type guys. They want genuine nice guys. Just because a woman dumps us, it doesn't automatically mean we were too nice. Clingy does not mean nice. Needy does not mean nice. Writing her ridiculous poetry does not equate to being nice. Because you part your hair to the side or have pictures of yourself with your dog does not mean you are the guy next door type, either. Just because you can recite a Michael Buble song does not mean you are a regular nice guy.
Being a nice guy, the type women want, means we listen to her. We put their needs above our own. It means we keep our egos in check.
Women are a lot simpler than we think. Make them laugh. Through action, show them you love them. And listen to them... really listen to them.
Nice guys never finish last.
Douches do.
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