Man and Dog‏

Several years ago, I made that difficult decision that no one ever hopes to have to make.  He was suffering.  It was obvious.

We had been through so much together. 

It's a life changing experience to buy a puppy and then to realize how quickly you become that dog's entire universe. 



I was Buddy's world.

He mimicked me.  When I would become excited during a football game, it was Buddy who would bark incessantly at the television as I clapped.

He seemed to know when I was hurting.  The day I found out a good friend had died, it was Buddy who jumped on my bed and laid his head on my chest for six straight hours as I laid there motionless staring at my celing.

Buddy knew he wasn't allowed on my bed.  But he also knew, some rules were meant to be broken.

Men don't like others to see us cry... except for our dogs. 

So, I laid there trying to be brave.  But my eyes involuntarily filled up.  As each tear slowly dripped down my cheek, it was Buddy who would perk his head up from my chest and lick those tears away.

That might have been the moment when I realized that I LOVED that dog.  It was definately the moment I realized that he LOVED me.

I don't even know if love is an appropriate word when it comes to the bond between man and dog.  But if love truly exists, then I can't imagine a more loving moment than the ones I shared with Buddy.

It's funny because that damn dog was always hungry.  But not during the month of October one certain year.  It was the month, I couldn't eat due to the event that caused me to lay motionless on my bed for six straight hours.

I had to force myself to eat because I had to keep living.  And for that month, Buddy never begged for my food.  It was as if he knew how important it was for me to force myself to eat.  I believe he was fully aware how willing I would have been to give him my meals if he had just simply begged like usual.

I think everyone faces a few events in their lives where a little piece of themselves die.  Eventually, enough little pieces of ourselves die and then our time is up.

I can tell you that there are four events in my life where I just know that small pieces of me died.  Oddly, one of those events was the day, I made that difficult decision to take Buddy to the vet....

Black labs tend to have a higher cancer rate than other breeds of dogs.

Buddy's tumor was inoperable.  He lacked the strength to eat, wag his tail, or even greet me at the door.  He just simply laid there all day long.  It was as if he was waiting to die.

The time had come.  I struggled for days with this decision.

And then I found the courage to do the right thing.

He wouldn't go willingly.  I carried him to my car.  He sat in the front seat.  And I swear, he just stared at me the whole damn time.  I couldn't look back at him.  I felt like I was betraying him.

But, the oddest thing happened...

As I was driving, he moved his head closer to me...

and he licked my arm.

It was as if he was trying to comfort me.  Imagine that; my dog was merely minutes away from the end of his short life and he was comforting me.

When we arrived at the vet, he seemed to be running on his last drops of addrenelin.  I opened the car door and he jumped out.  He, on his leash, walked proudly despite being to weak to move minutes earlier.

The vet gently said to me, "Bring Buddy and follow me."

We walked into the back room.  I lifted Buddy up onto the cold steel bed.

I was trying to be brave.  I couldn't speak.

I looked at my dog; trying to capture one last glimpse into his warm brown eyes.  It's like a snapshot in my mind; his last look.

And as the vet administered the needle, Buddy licked my hand....

One last time. 

I can tell many stories about love.  I have experienced love on so many levels.  And if there is anything greater than love, it would be that mysterious bond between man and dog.