The C Word

You say I'm clever
Manipulative is my favorite compliment
Sometimes I don't; not because I won't but because I can't
So, I focus on making you come
I can't handle the criticism
I can be creative
And say things that are absolutely caustic
The noise makes me complain
like an autistic child

You say this could be colossal
tell me the time, Mr. broken clock
Sometimes I don't; not because I won't but because I can't
I want to be your yellow crayon
and paint your sky with a bright happy color
The artist in me is disguised as a cannibal
So, I focus on making you come
I am trying to perfect my craft

You say your sad eyes are about to close
And the tears are constant
I want to carry your cross
and be your Christ
Sometimes I don't; not because I won't but because I can't
Please don't mistake my love for carelessness
This is my choice
And you are who I choose
So, I focus on making you come
I can be capricious

You say I am cantankerous
My toxicity is defined by my charm
The thought of this without you makes me twist and cringe
Stuck between the conundrum and the calamity

And if only I could cleanse
your blood of this cancer
If only I could cleanse
your blood of this cancer

I would.

but I can't.

I'm just not that clever.