Cougars, Pigs and Dogs. Oh My.‏

I get home from work, turn my computer on and this is the first thing I see:

I was shocked when I read the accompanying article.  I was expecting to read about some poor peasant lady who works overtime as the maid at the local Motel 6 and how she recently won the lottery.  It turns out this lady is actually a world famous pop star named Mariah Carey.

Who knew famous people sometimes go without makeup?

As I read this article, I later learned that this 40 year old pop singer is married to a 27 year old actor who is famous for being on Nickelodeon back when he was in his teens.

In our contemporary society, women like her are known as "cougars".

Being an avid watcher of the Animal Planet, I have never quite understood why older women who chase younger men are called cougars.  Sure, cougars are stealthy cats who surprise their prey prior to attacking them and killing them.  But there is nothing stealthy about a desperate older woman chasing a younger man.

In fact, no one is more obvious than a needy older woman in search for her fountain of youth by chasing someone half her age.

And why do women who chase younger men get called one of the animal kingdom's most prolific hunters while older men who chase younger women get called one of the animal kingdom's most notorious slobs?

Women are cougars and men are pigs.

Not fair.

Ironically, it is the older women who are calling the older men who chase younger women, pigs.

Not fair, again.



Anyway, I don't really care about the dating habits of people.

But I do care about the animals and their dating habits.

My last dog, Buddy, lived 9 years; that is 63 years in people time.  He died a virgin. 

The closest he got to getting laid was the one time, he attempted to make sweet love to my leg.  The reason he did not succeed is because he went about it all wrong.

There I was standing in the kitchen making some delicious Hamburger Helper.  He was sitting by my side, drooling and waiting for me to drop something.

Then, out of the blue, he jumped on my leg and started humping it.

He didn't bother to lick my leg to get it in the mood.  No compliments on how firm my leg was looking.  No flowers. 

He just impulsively jumped on my leg and started to hump it.

He was stealthy; kind of like a cougar.

Which gets me thinking; wouldn't a rapist be more of a cougar than some horny older woman?

Within 5 seconds, I pushed him off my leg and scolded him.  He whimpered and walked slowly into the living room, with his tail between his legs.

Never again did Buddy try to have sex with my leg.

I really have no point. 

Women, date who you want to date and let men date who they want to date without you taking it personal.